


Day & Night

by 206louise



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Bulimia, Cutting, Doctor Erwin Smith, Gay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-12-22 06:02:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/206louise/pseuds/206louise
Summary: Light, bright white light shone down above him. Levi blinked confused, had he died. As his vision started to adjust all he could think was FUCK.~Levi Ackerman is a 25-year-old writer who lands himself in the hospital after another failed suicide attempt. This is his story of recovery and his journey to find happiness in darkness.I seriously suck at summaries so you have to be the judge of this piece of trash I made





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning this fic will be triggering please please please don't read if it might trigger you. Also, I apologize if things are not that accurate although I do suffer from treatment resistant depression, so many meds don't work for me, or they work for a short period so currently, I'm on a cocktail of antidepressants to try a battle it. I also have OCD. Well, I'm sorry for this piece of shit I call a story.

Levi sat in the corner of his bathroom surrounded by pill bottles and a glass of water. Tears fell down his eyes. His eyes glassed over stuck in memory from the past. He shook as he reached for one of the bottles, opening it. He swallowed the pills with the help of water. He reached for another bottle. He struggled to open it his hands shaking uncontrollably. He wanted to die. Levi was done trying to put on a facade of happiness while everything in his life went to shit. He got the bottle open, tipping it letting the pills fall into his mouth. Another sip of water got the bitter tasting pills down his throat. He sat on the cold tile floor he felt himself getting woozy his stomach cramping with pain. He reached for his third bottle when he heard the door to his house open. He scrambled reaching for another bottle. He heard someone calling his voice urgency in their voice. He couldn’t get the bottle open. The urgent need to the person's voice calling his name was getting louder as he heard doors being opened and slammed shut. He got the bottle open as he heard the door to his room open. He threw the pills to the back of his throat swallowing them dry. The door to his ensuite bathroom was thrown open. He had forgotten to lock the door. In the doorway stood Hanji. When she saw Levi, she lunged forward at Levi who tried to scramble away but was too weak and tired. Levi attempted to let a scream but was cut off by Hanji’s fingers getting jammed down his throat. Levi tried to fight against Hanji but was too tired. He felt the bile rise in his throat. His vision was darkening at the edges feeling bile come to rise. His vision started to fade faster after he threw up. Maybe he had succeeded maybe he would finally be able to end his miserable life. His vision went dark, and he felt at peace looking forward to the end.

***

Light, bright white light shone down above him. Levi blinked confused, had he died. His vision started to adjust, and all he could think was FUCK. He was still alive and in the hospital. He tried to sit up, but his arms were strapped to the bed. 

“Levi! You're awake how wonderful!” Levi groaned as he took in his surrounding and the peppy voice that came from his so called friend Hanji. “I thought for sure I was too late this time. Why are you always trying to kill yourself? It’s not good for the soul.” She said brushing hair out of Levi’s face. “I have no soul shitty glasses.” Levi said in a raspy voice glaring at Hanji. “Glad to see you still have your personality.” She said. Levi turned his face from her and closed his eyes. He had failed for the third time in a row. He was sure that he would finally succeed. But yet here he lay. He was taken away from his thoughts when a someone knocked on the door to his room. A kind woman's face poked her head in. “Levi Ackerman?” She questioned. “Who else would I be.” Levi wrapped again voice hoarse from throwing up he guessed. “Sorry. I just wanted to make sure.”

“Whatever,” Levi replied staring at the dots on the ceiling. 

“You must be Hanji the one who found Mister Ackerman.” The nurse asked Hanji. 

   “Yes. This little munchkin tried to end himself again, and Hanji was there to save the day.”

“Ah yes.” The nurse said awkwardly. “I wanted to go over a treatment plan for Mr. Ackerman.”

“Okay but every treatment plan they’ve put him on so far hasn’t worked.”

“Well okay. The doctors were thinking of sending him to a treatment facility.” She was cut off by Levi.

“Already been twice didn’t do shit obviously. And don’t fucking talk like I don’t exist.” The nurse looked taken aback. 

“Well, we could change up your meds.” She was cut off once again.

“They do that every time if it did anything I wouldn’t be here.” The nurse looked a bit shaken. 

   “Oh don’t listen to this dingus. He’s just grumpy.” Hanji said. Levi ignored what Hanji said and asked the nurse in what he considered his nice voice.

“When can I leave.” 

“Well, you have to be on suicide watch for 24 hours. But then I guess you can choose to be released. But it would be against the doctor's orders.” Levi stared at the nurse. 

“Fuck 24 hours,” Levi said closing his eyes and wishing he could just disappear. He felt himself starting to fall asleep again. He heard the muffled voices of Hanji and the nurse but ignored them hoping he could just disappear. 

***

Levi was sitting in the back of a car. Two people were sitting in the front seats. A redheaded girl and a blonde boy who was driving. They were laughing. Levi was laughing. He felt happy. It went on like this for five minutes when all of a sudden the redhead turned to look at Levi a smile on her face when all of a sudden car lights shined in Levi’s face. He heard to sound of crunching metal and a scream. 

***

Levi jolted from the dream screaming. Hanji had been sitting in a chair playing games on her phone when she dropped her phone in surprise. Levi was panting, shaking with fear from the nightmare. Hanji pushed Levi back onto the bed where his hands were still bound. A nurse came rushing through the door in response to the scream. Tears fell in a slow stream down Levi’s face. He heard Hanji talking to the nurse probably telling her that he had suffered from severe night terrors for the past few years. When he finally calmed down enough to focus on his surroundings, he noticed a new person in his room. This person looked more like a doctor than a nurse. This new person was tall with blonde hair, thick eyebrows, and blue eyes. They were talking to Hanji in a hushed voice. The newcomer noticed Levi was focused on the two, and he said, “Hey I’m Doctor Smith, but you can just call me Erwin.” 

“Whatever,” Levi said rolling his eyes. 

“So Levi…” Dr. Smith - Erwin said, “I see in your report that this is not your first attempt.”

“No shit Sherlock,” Levi said wishing he could cross his arms.

“Yes well, your report tells me you suffer from insomnia, severe OCD, Depression, social anxiety, self-harm, PTSD, and few more disorders in similar taste. Is this mostly true.”

“Well, you’d have to ask the one who has chemical burns from cleaning, scars tracing up and down their body, The one who only leaves their house in emergencies. Oh, wait you are. If it says it on you damn report, it's probably accurate.” Levi retorted. 

“Ah yes, sorry that did seem a bit redundant. I was just talking to your friend here about what we're going to do with you.”

“And what is that if I may ask.” 

“Well seeing as every treatment plan you’ve been put on so far has failed I was thinking… How opposed are you to having a roommate who could maybe watch over you, so you’re not so alone. Hanji here tells me you live alone in a pretty spacious home…” Levi cut Erwin off.

“Fuck no. I don’t want some brat messing up my system.”

“Yes, I know. But having a roommate might help you. It is just a suggestion think it over. I have a good candidate if you agree.”

“I will never agree to something stupid like that,” Levi said glaring at Dr. Smith.

“Why even propose such a stupid idea. What does this have to do with a fucking treatment plan? Are you guys crazy.”

“Levi my little midget think about it. You always make snappy judgments. Think about it okay.” Hanji said looking agitated with Levi. 

“Well, I let you think it over press the nurse's button when you’ve made up your decision,” Erwin said taking his leave.

Hanji spent two hours pestering to give the idea of a roommate a chance until he gave in knowing he would not win this fight. Erwin was happy that he had agreed. He said that Levi’s future roommate was 19 years old. He also switched up some of Levi’s meds. The last few hours of Levi’s hospital stay was boring. Nurses were coming in and out making him swallow foul tasting liquids and powders to make sure the pills that he had taken were out of his system. He got some his cuts stitched up and 5 hours later was blinking at the lowering sun in the sky. He was waiting for Hanji to drive up with her dumpster of a car. When he got a text on his phone. Erwin had told him that the brat was going to text him with his details, but he had hoped it wouldn’t happen. He looked at his phone decided he would look at the text later that night. He couldn’t deal with some brat right then. 

Hanji pulled up her car it was some tiny mini cooper and filled with garbage and germs. He got into the car with Hanji who handed him a wet wipe so he could clean his seat. She had been his friend since before the accident. He had always been pretty neurotic when it came to germs, but after the crash, everything imploded on himself. Hanji knew how to deal with him, and she never let him see her sad. As he cleaned off his seat and every surface around him Hanji was talking about some cat she saw while she was walking the day before. Once was done cleaning the car they were basically at Levi’s house. 

When she parked her car in his driveway of his two-story home that was left for him from some family member long ago. She unlocked the door to his house for him, and he stepped inside. The house smelled of bleach and cleaning supplies from his many rounds of cleaning. Hanji leads him to the kitchen where she laid out five new pill bottles. She also took out a safe from her giant bag that she always carried around. She started to put things in the safe but kept a small box out and put one of every pill in it. 

“Okay here's the plan. I’m putting all your meds in this safe which only I know the code. I’m leaving you pills for every day out of it. Make sure you take them cause I will find out if you're hiding them.” 

“Okay, whatever,” Levi said rolling his eyes. Hanji handed him two pills and a glass of water. 

“Take these I’m staying here until you get your roommate.”

“You don’t have to.” Levi protested.

“I do because I’m not in the mood to find you dying on the bathroom floor. Again” Levi clicked his tongue in disapproval and took the pills. Hanji followed him into his bedroom. He realized he must have left his bathroom in a mess. He rushed to the door and flung it open only to find it spotless and empty. 

   “Hanji?” Levi questioned looking at her in disbelief. 

“I think the words you’re looking for are thank you.” She gave him a goofy smile. He knew he would have to clean it himself tomorrow, but for now, he didn’t have to worry about it. He turned and closed the door to the bathroom and walked over to his closet. He asked Hanji to turn around while he changed and when he was, he got into his bed. The meds were making him sleepy, but he knew it wouldn’t last. Most meds had an effectiveness of a few weeks at most then they just stopped. For now, he would appreciate the sleep. Hanji sat on the floor watching him. He slowly let himself fall into sleep.

   When Levi woke up, he was confused. He hadn’t had a single dream, and it was a bit unnerving. He usually woke up thrashing from the nightmares that plagued him. He sat up rubbing his eyes. Hanji had fallen asleep on the floor. He walked over to her prodded her with his toe. She stirred and opened her eyes. 

“Goodmorning!” She sat up quickly with a large smile.

“Get off the damn floor.” She stood up and saluted him.

“Yes, sir.” She giggled. He rolled his eyes. He told her that he was going to take a shower. She nodded in approval and told him not to forget to cover his stitches with waterproof band-aids and handed him some clothes she said she would wait outside the bathroom door if he needed anything. 

Levi stood under the scalding water coming from the shower. He breathed in and out letting the hot water ground him. He still wanted to die. Life felt meaningless to him, and Hanji was honestly the only reason why he kept trying to live. He opened his eyes looking down at his body with disapproval. His body was littered with smaller scars that were self-inflicted. His hands were blotchy with chemical burns from forgetting to put safety gloves on. But the thing he hated the most was a large scar that was across his chest which is the only blemish on his body he did not put there himself. He hated himself when he looked at his body. He had always been skinny, but lately, he would forget to eat. It’s not like he was anorexic he would just forget to eat because he was too busy indulging in his OCD tendencies.

He picked up the shampoo bottle lathering his hair with it. He then proceeded to the conditioner. He repeated the process five times. He then took the soap bar and began to scrub violently on his skin. Hospitals always made him feel unclean he hated it. He needed to rid himself of the filth from the hospital. After fifteen minutes of scrubbing, he was satisfied his skin was red and raw, but it had calmed down his OCD for the minute. When he stepped out of the shower, he had remembered what had transpired in this same bathroom. He felt the urge to clean it to rid the floor of the filth from the past. He pulled on the grey shirt and black sweatpants that Hanji had laid out for him. Once he was clothed, he reached for the cleaning products he kept stocked under his bathroom cabinet. 

He hadn’t realized he’d spent scrubbing the floor of filth that wasn’t there for nearly two hours. Hanji had opened the door an hour into his cleaning, but he hadn’t realized. She had closed the door after seeing what he was doing. She knew that stopping Levi was a bad idea. She probably had scars from when Levi had scratched her for trying to stop him. He just had to wait it out. When he finally was satisfied, he put his cleaning supplies back in alphabetical order and left the bathroom. Hanji was not in his bedroom. He picked up his phone from where it was charging and opened the text from last night and the brat who was going to be his new roommate. It said, 

Hi, Erwin told me you were looking for a housemate. My names Eren Jaeger I’m 19 years old. I promise I’m not a serial killer and not a weirdo. I’m just a college drop out looking for a place to live. Text me back at this number if you're still interested. 

Levi thought of how to respond. He himself was 25 with an English major. He had written a few book but hadn’t written anything recently. He thought of what to respond to the kid as he walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Hanji was sitting on a stool next to his island. 

“Hey my little midget,” Hanji said looking up at him from the book she was reading. Levi nodded in response as he grabbed his tea pot from the stove filling it with water and placing it back on the stove. He leaned against the counter as he waited for his water to boil. He opened his phone again and opened a new text to send to Eren. 

Hello Eren, I’m sure you’re not a serial killer. I am still interested in a roommate. You can basically move in whenever but you should know I REALLY hate messes, so I expect everything to stay clean. Text me when you plan to move in so I can send you the details. 

   He hit send hoping he didn’t sound too awkward. He hated having to do this. He hadn’t had roommates since Isabel and Farlan. It was terrifying to think of letting someone other than Hanji into his safe place. His hands shook as he lifted the pot from stove and pouring it into his teacup. He put his tea bag and let it brew as he sat down next to Hanji. 

“Did you text the kid?” Hanji asked looking up again.

“Yes, I did if you really want to know.” 

“Good, maybe this will help you. Have more friends than just me.”

“I wouldn’t even call you a friend.” 

“Oh no Levi you wound me.” She gasped sarcastically clutching her chest. 

“Tch.” Levi rolled his eyes.

“You know you love me,” Hanji said placing the pill box in front of Levi. “Don't forget to take these.” Levi nodded popping the pills into his palm and swallowing them with a sip of his tea. 

Hanji and Levi sat at the counter for almost an hour in calm silence when Levi’s phone went off. He picked up from where it laid and looked at the alert. It was a text from Eren.

Well, I can move in basically whenever I’m not doing anything. What ever day or time works for you will most likely work for me.

Levi looked at the text and responded with.

You can move in today if you like. Like I said I don’t do anything. 

Levi waited for a response from the brat. Hanji looked up from the book and said, “God Levi I forgot how good of a writer you were.”

“What are you talking about Shittyglasses?” Levi questioned. She lifted up the book she was reading which was one of five books Levi wrote.

“Oh god, why are you reading that shit. It’s not worth it.”

“Are you kidding me. You know these books are good. You don’t have to work a day in your life because of these books. They’re good trust me.” 

“Whatever Glasses, I’m not in the mood.” Levi looked back at his phone which had just gone off. 

Does 2:00 work for you? 

Levi looked at the clock it was 10:45 now. He typed a quick response with a yes and his address. He looked to Hanji and said, “The brat is moving in around 2:00.” 

   “Oh, that's good! Do you need anything right now? What do you want to do?” 

“I’m just going to go watch Tv.” 

“OOH, we could watch…” Levi tuned Hanji out turning towards the living room and sitting in the pristine black couch. He curled up in his favorite blanket and watched as Hanji whirled around deciding what kind of Tv show to watch. She finally settled on some weird baking show, and Levi lost himself in it. 

   He’d always enjoyed baking but hadn’t done it for a while. Honestly, he hadn’t done a lot of thing for a while. He had lost all interest in everything instead resorting to self-destructive behavior. As he watched, he felt himself get drowsy. He ended up dozing off; he suspected the meds that Erwin had put him on were at fault. 

He awoke to Hanji shaking his shoulder gently. 

“Hey Levi, I need to change the bandages on your arm. We don’t want those getting infected like last time.” He remembered last time. His arm had swollen up, and it took forever to rid himself of the infection because he kept irritating them by scrubbing them. Because an infection meant germs and germs meant he was dirty. He nodded as Hanji brought out of nowhere a first aid kit. She gently removed the bandages and dabbed with alcohol at the lacerations. He didn’t wince. 

“What time is it?” Levi asked as Hanji did her job.

“Around 1:30.” 

“Shit I’ve been asleep for awhile.”

“Yes, you have been. But that's good. Any nightmares?” 

“No nothing it’s just black.”

“Well, I guess that's better than having them.” 

“Maybe,” Levi replied as Hanji inspected his wounds.

“I think these will heal up fine as long as you don’t pick at them. Call me if you feel like self-harming. Or at least call if you need stitches.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Levi said rolling his eyes. The scars on his arms were all neat and straight. But some were deep causing keloids to form. He hated that they disrupted the evenness of them.  He sat there as Hanji finished and re-bandaged his arms. She patted him on the head as if he was a puppy. He pushed her away.

“What time is it now?” Levi asked unable to locate his phone without standing up from the couch. 

“Around 1:45.” 

“The brat should be here soon. I should clean.”

“Levi this house is the cleanest in the world. I think you could go a year without cleaning it and it would still be spotless.”

“But that brat will think I’m messy.”

“Levi what's messy in this room.”

“Everything. There's dust on the television there's a stain on the coffee table…” He listed a few more items off and Hanji put a hand on his chest to stop him from standing. 

   “Levi no. There is no stain on the coffee table.”

“But I see it’s right there.” Levi struggled against Hanji’s arm. He pointed towards a scratch that had been on the table for years.

“Levi no. Remember I put that scratch there when I tripped on the table. Levi shook his head in disagreement. He lunged himself against Hanji knocking her over. He rushed to the kitchen where he kept his cleaning supplies. Hanji lunged at him and tackled him to the ground. He struggled against the woman trying to push her off. But she was stronger pinning him to the ground. 

“Levi No!” She screamed. Levi struggled as tears fell from his eyes. 

“It’snotcleanit’snotcleanit’snotcleanit’snotcleanI’mnotcleanI’mnotcleanI’mnotclean.” He repeated hyperventilating. Hanji reached inside her pants pocket pulling a pill box from it. She opened it all while struggling against the now thrashing Levi. She stuck the pill down his throat. He swallowed but didn’t stop thrashing. After nearly 15 minutes of struggling against each other Levi finally stopped. Tears were falling from his eyes as he slowly repeated.

“I’m not clean… I’m not clean… I’m not clean…” His voice was small. Hanji finally released her grip on the smaller man. He curled in on himself. She picked up Levi who was surprisingly light. She carried him up the stairs and tucked him into his bed. He just laid there repeating that he was unclean like a mantra. She left him knowing the pill she had given him was taking effect. 

She walked back down the stairs and folded the blanket on the couch. Nothing had been knocked over in the struggle. She felt sorry for Levi. She had been friends with Isabel and Farlan and when the accident happened Levi didn’t talk to anyone for a long time. Nobody knew exactly what had happened. Hanji only found out when Levi was having a nightmare and started screaming and woke up and told her everything. Her heart broke thinking that their best friends had been killed. She loved them, but she loved Levi more. Not like love in a romantic way but love in care for deeply way. She wished she could help Levi through his problems, but she had to accept that he may never be the same. She was parted from thoughts when Levi’s doorbell rang. She remembered that the boy Erwin had recommended was moving in. She went to the and answered it. 

When Hanji opened the door there stood a skinny boy. He had brown hair and tan skin and amazing green eyes. He wore a green sweatshirt that looked three sizes too big and skinny jeans that weren’t skinny enough. He looked up with confusion at Hanji. “Are you Levi?” 

“Oh haha no my names Hanji I’m a friend of Levi’s. He’s kinda sleeping right now, but you can come in. I was expecting you.” The boy nodded slinging the duffel bag around his shoulder. 

“So your name's Eren right.”

“Ah yeah I’m 19.” He said awkwardly brushing his hands through his hair.

“Oh cool cool. Levi would probably want me to tell you that he absolutely hates messes. You don’t look particularly messy, but I’m just warning you.” Eren nodded in response.

“I guess I should show you your room.” She leads Eren up the stairs. She pointed towards Levi’s door. “That’s Levi’s room. I would recommend not going in there unless you want to be hanged in your sleep.” She chuckled. She lead Eren to the door across the hall from Levi’s. She paved the way to a smaller room but definitely not small in definition. It had its own ensuite. It had a bed with light blue bedding on it. 

“Well, here we go,” Hanji said. Eren took a look at his surrounding taking everything in. “Why don’t you put your stuff down stay awhile. Is that all you have?” Hanji asked plopping herself down on the queen sized bed. 

“Ah yeah, this all I have.” 

“Well, that’s cool. So how do you know Dr. Smith?”

“Oh Erwin, he’s an old family friend I guess you could say. I’ve known him since I was little.” 

“Cool Cool. But why would he recommend you to live with our resident angry midget.” Eren looked with confusion at Hanji. “Is Levi really short?”

“Oh haha no he’s 5’2, but he insists he’s 5’4” 

“Oh okay. I’ve been trying to find a reasonably priced place to live since I dropped out of college. Erwin was helping me find a place. He said he had just met a person who was in need of a roommate, and here I am.” Eren said shrugging his shoulders and dropping his duffel bag next to the dresser in front of the bed. 

“Well okay then. Why don’t I give you a tour of the house then.” Eren nodded and watched as Hanji jumped from where she was sitting and sprang out the door like Tigger.

Hanji had given Eren a full detail tour of the entire house including every closet. She had revealed what Levi disliked and told Eren what not to do. She didn’t want Levi scaring away the boy. 

After the tour had finished, they settled down in the kitchen. Hanji had poured Eren a glass of Orange juice, but he hadn’t touched it yet. They made small talk for awhile until they both heard the slamming of a door upstairs. They heard the creaking of stairs, and a few seconds later Levi turned the corner into the kitchen. He was now wearing a sweater with his sweat pants. His hands were blotchy and red, and Hanji knew Levi had been cleaning his room. She cursed herself for not paying more attention to him. Levi looked at Eren taking in his appearance. Eren had stood up and was about to introduce himself, but Levi said, “I’m not much for introductions.” He turned to the stove picking up the kettle and filling it with water to heat up. He leaned against the counter. An awkward silence fell between the three. Eren sat awkwardly back on the stool staring at his lap. Eren was about to say something when the whistling of Levi’s kettle went off. Levi tended to tea pouring, and when he was done, he sat down on a stool next to Eren. 

Eren stayed quiet while Levi drank his tea. What broke the silence was Hanji standing suddenly and knocking over her stool. 

“Goddammit, shitty glasses,” Levi said glaring at her with menacing eyes. 

“Oh gosh sorry Levi. I’ve actually got to go I’ll be back around 6:00. Be good Levi.” She winked at Eren and ruffled Levi’s hair. Levi understood what be good meant, Don’t kill yourself or the boy while I’m gone. They heard the slam of the door signaling Hanji’s absence. Both sat awkwardly. Levi was sipping his tea and Eren twirling his finger around the rim of his glass of orange juice. Levi put his cup down and said,

“Do you not like orange juice or what?” He asked steely gray eyes peering into Eren's turquoise ones.

“Ah not really. Your friend poured it for me before I could say anything.” Eren said awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. 

“Tch… Whatever brat. I’m going back upstairs don’t bother me unless you're dying.” He said this while standing from his stool and putting his tea cup in the dishwasher. 

“And if you're not planning on staring at that orange juice for the next 5 hours put it in the dishwasher. You can do whatever the fuck you want but if you make a fucking mess so help me god you better clean it up.” Eren nodded and watched the smaller male walk out and heard the creaking of stairs then the closing of a door. 


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a second chapter I have started the third but if anyone has ideas they would be greatly appreciated and what you might want out of this fic.

Eren let out the breath he had been holding sub consciously while in the presence of Levi. The man gave him the heebie jeebies. Standing up pouring the calorie filled orange juice down the sink. Once he had put his glass in the dishwasher, he walked up to his room. Observing that Levi’s door was and there was shuffling, from the other side of the door signaled that he was probably busy. 

He opened the door to his new room. It was bland, but it had all the necessities. The queen size bed with the plain blue bedding. There was a desk in the corner with a dresser in front of the bed. He picked up his duffel bag and began unpacking it on the bed. He owned very little a few oversized sweatshirts, oversized t-shirts, over-sized pants everything he owned was oversized but once upon a time fit him. He pulled out a small photo album of happier times. On the cover was a picture his mom dad and adopted sister. 

His mom had died when he was 10, and it had torn apart his family. Eren’s adopted sister Mikasa became withdrawn and ended up killing herself when she was 14. Or at least that's what his dad told him. But his dad was a special case. When his mom died his dad lost it and after Mikasa was gone he lost it becoming an alcoholic ignoring Eren unless he had fucked up in some way. He remembered distinctly when one day his dad had just cleaned the house, and he had gotten a glass of water, and his dad screamed at him for putting water in the sink and ended up whipping him with a belt. He still had scars on his bony spine from that event and events similar to it. He sat on the bed after he had put away his clothes in the dresser. Tears fell from his eyes as he remembered what had gotten him there in the first place. 

He had met Erwin Smith right after his mom had died. He had brought himself to the hospital after his dad attacked him with a knife when he thought he was an intruder. He had been drunk. Erwin had asked him what happened and he lied saying he had tripped. Being a naive child, Erwin could see right through him. But he didn’t say anything. He just gave the kid his number and told me to call if there was an emergency. From that moment on Erwin became almost like a second father to Eren treating his wounds whenever his real dad went on a bender and attacked him. Unfortunately, when Eren was 17, his dad found out he was gay and kicked him out almost instantly. Erwin had let him live with him, but recently Erwin was planning to get married and even though he hadn’t said Eren needed to move out Eren felt obligated to. So now here he was in a strange man's house in the guys guest room. 

He pulled out his phone. He only had a few friends and worked nights at a convenience store. But he decided, to text his only friend from his childhood. His name was Armin, and they hadn’t talked in awhile because of an incident that happened. But hell Eren had nothing better to do in his life, and he knew he should try to talk.  Eren pulled up his texts.

**To Armin: I’m sorry.**

Eren closed his phone hoping that Armin would respond. He was truly sorry for what had conspired between the two, and he just wanted his friend back. Eren dropped the phone onto the bed. His stomach gurgled. Eren wondered when the last time he had eaten something had been. Maybe yesterday maybe the day before., Eren hated eating, he hated feeling fat. His dad used to point everything wrong with Eren. The “fat” That accumulated on his ankles or the flab that hung underneath his arms. The rolls he got in on his stomach. The way his waist had extra fat on it. Everything about him was imperfect. Eren felt the need to be better to be beautiful then maybe just maybe his dad would love him again.

Eren stood from his bed suddenly and sulked off to the bathroom to shower. He had to not focus on the gnawing hunger in his stomach and the memories that caused pain. He needed a moment to himself to forget everything.

The shower was peaceful having had put on music and just let the water fall over his body. His body was the bane of his existence. He had many scars covering his body some small some large. Some caused by his father some caused by himself when he felt hopeless. He didn’t cut himself anymore ever since Erwin found him bleeding out in his bed. Now he just starved himself. The pain of hunger was far more satisfying. 

He let his fingers trace over the ugly scars that would mar his body for the rest of his life. No wonder he couldn’t find love. Who would want damaged goods? Nobody. He turned off the shower letting the cold breeze hit him. Goosebumps rose on his skin, and he let himself air dry for a while. Leaning against the tile grounding him to reality. He had work in a few hours. It didn’t pay much, but it was enough. He mostly dealt with alcoholics and teenagers trying to buy booze. He pushed himself off the wall wrapping a blue towel around his body that had been hanging on a hook behind the door. He looked at himself in the fogged up mirror. He put on his fake smile. Nobody would guess he was dying inside. He dried his hair and rehung his towel behind the door. 

He walked off to the dresser where he had placed his few clothes. He opened the drawer pulling out the ugly vest his job made him wear. He didn’t even have his own name tag the name tag they gave him said, Marc. He might as well disappear from existence. He laid out his uniform on half of his bed and got dressed in clean jeans that hung off his hips in a sickly way. 

   Eren laid down on his bed. He felt too awkward to look around his new home because the guy he was living with obviously didn’t want him here. So why had Erwin recommended he live with him. For all, he knew the guy was actually a serial killer. And honestly, he probably was. He spent an hour on his phone and decided he had enough of being bored. He walked downstairs his uniform vest in hand. He set it on the side of the couch. He still had an hour to spare, so he sat down on the couch and turned on the television. He really hoped Levi wouldn’t yell at him for watching Tv cause he didn’t know what would piss off the smaller male because he seemed to be easily pissed off.

The hour passed quickly, and Eren realised he needed to head off to work. He picked up his vest and left the house. He walked to the convenience store which was conveniently only 15-minute walk compared to his 45-minute walk. As Eren walked he let his mind wander and before he knew it he was at his place of employment.

*******

The night so far had been pretty uneventful Eren had only dealt with five people so far, and there was currently no one in the store. Luckily there was a television and Eren was flicking through channels when he heard the ding of the bell signaling a person was in the store. Eren looked up greeting the young woman probably around the same age as him. She had longish black hair with bangs hanging in front of her eyes. The girl had a long red scarf wrapped around her neck. She headed towards the back of the store where the alcohol was. He averted his eyes back to the tv waiting for her to finish her shopping. Five minutes passed, and the girl handed him the alcohol she was planning on buying. 

“I.D,” Eren said in a monotone voice. The girl shook her head in acknowledgment and grabbed her purse that hung by her side. Eren doubted that the girl was 21 but hell most people thought he was thirteen so he wasn’t going to judge. The black haired girl pulled out her wallet and held out her I.D. for Eren to grab. He gently took it from the girl and observed the name, Ackerman-Jaeger, Mikasa

Born: February 10, 1995

Eren’s hand shook when he looked at the name. Mikasa… His mind was having a hard time trying to wrap his mind around what was happening.

“U-uh excuse me is there a problem?” Mikasa asked concern in her voice. “Are you having a seizure do you need me to call an ambulance.” She placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder, and he snapped out of the trance he had been in. 

“Your name is M-Mikasa?” Eren questioned body starting to shake uncontrollably.

“U-uh yes why?” She asked looking at Eren questionably. Eren felt tears well up behind his eyes. He put the card he had been holding on the counter and sunk beneath the counter. He felt dizzy.

“S-sir are you okay.” She said urgently dropping her bag and rushing behind the counter. Eren was breathing heavily tears falling slowly down his gaunt cheeks. 

“Um-m Marc are you okay?” Mikasa asked her face very close to Erens. 

Eren was confused. Who was Marc? Why didn’t she recognize him? Oh right, Eren thought his name tag said, Marc. His head was getting fuzzier and fuzzier. He opened his mouth to say something, but he felt the words get stuck in his throat, and all he managed to get out was, “Name … not … Marc,” The vision around his eyes started going dark. He knew he needed to control his breathing, but it felt impossible. His entire frame was racked with tears and heavy breathing. 

“Uh okay Not Marc, just breathe okay. In… Out.” She repeated hoping that Eren would follow her lead. He did, and as she helped him through breathing exercises, he felt himself calm down slowly, but surely he felt his breathing return to normal. Once he was breathing normally again, Mikasa sat back on her heels staring at Eren. 

“You okay now? You scared me for a minute there.” She said. Eren nodded and stood up slowly using the counter for support. She stood up as well brushing off her jeans with the palm of her hands. Eren took a shaky breath and said, “Mikasa....” 

“Uh yes, that's my name?”

“Do you not remember me?”

“Am I supposed too?” She questioned fingering the red scarf like she used to when they were little.

“You’re supposed to be dead. Dad said you were dead.” Eren breathed out running his bony fingers through his hair. Confusion then recognition spread over Mikasa’s face.

“Oh my God!” Mikasa nearly screamed grabbing Eren by the arms and wrapping him in a hug.

“Eren right! Oh, my gosh Eren. I’ve missed you so much. Holy shit! I thought you still lived in the country. I never thought you would be here. I was going to come back for you, but I forgot. Shit, I’m so sorry.” Tears of happiness fell onto Eren’s shoulder. All that went through his mind was confused. What was she talking about? Come back for me. She leaned back grabbing Eren’s shoulders as if he was going to disappear at any moment. She brushed his hair out of his eyes and stared at him with her fierce eyes. 

They stood there staring at each other taking in the changes that had conspired in the six years that had passed since they had last seen each other. Tears still fell from Mikasa’s eyes as she ran her hands through Eren’s long hair. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Mikasa said again pulling him into another bone crushing hug. 

Eren pulled away and looked once again at Mikasa. “I’m confused as fuck.”

“I know I’m so sorry Eren. I was supposed to come back for you, but I got distracted and busy, and if I’m honest I forgot about you.” Mikasa said looking awkwardly at her shoes guilty.

“You forgot about me everyone does. But what do you mean come back for me.” Eren said pulling away and jumping onto the counter. He was feeling horribly dizzy and uneasy. 

“Didn’t Dad tell you he kicked me out,” Mikasa said in confusion.

“Wha-at!” Eren said surprised. 

“Yeah, he kicked me out because he caught me kissing a girl. Funny enough that “girl” Is now my fiance. Screw him anyway.”

“He kicked you out… He told me you killed yourself. We held a funeral for you.” Eren said quietly. Mikasa looked shocked.

“YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD!” She said incredulously

“Well yeah. Dad never mentioned you after you “died.” Well, I guess that might explain why he was so angry after you left. Even though he was bad before you disappeared from my life.” Mikasa looked guilty and leaned into Eren again.

“God, I’m so sorry. How could I have done this to you.” She stood hugging Eren.

He felt knew tears dampen his vest. When they were torn apart by the dinging of the convenience store door

“Mikasa, what’s taking so damn long?” A tall angry looking blonde said noticing the two.

“What the fuck is going on Mika?” Mikasa struggled around the counter and ran into the girl's arm tears still streaming down her face.

“Babe what the fuck,” The blonde said holding Mikasa gently in her arms. 

   “You kid did you hurt my wife in some way. Cause so help me god I will break every bone in your skinny little body.” The blonde growled glaring at Eren who raised his arms in innocence. 

“You got married?” Eren questioned quietly scared of the tall blonde. 

“Annie it’s okay,” Mikasa said jumping up and down with excitement. “And yeah we got engaged around four months ago. We’re getting married in 6 months.”

“Are you sure Mika this scrawny kid looks like trouble to me.”

“Oh, Annie that's nonsense. Remember when I told you about my brother Eren this is him. I found him. Ann, I found him.” Tears had started to fall from Mikasa’s eyes. The hard look that had been on Annie’s face softened. 

“Mikasa are you serious this is the kid you always talked about. The one whose father kicked you out at 14 for being a lesbian.”

“Uh yeah.” Mikasa became quiet after that statement. Looking to Earn apologetically.

“So this assholes father is the one who ruined your childhood,” Annie said stepping in front of Mikasa her face hardening again.

“Wait Annie don’t start a fight it isn’t his fault,” Mikasa said trying to push around Annie. 

Eren just stood there in shock. What was happening his life had been turned around and around. He didn’t know what to do. 

“Please don’t hit me,” Eren said quietly looking straight into the blonde girl's sharp eyes. She stepped forward staring daggers at Eren. “What did you say asshole.” Eren was about to reply when Mikasa screamed. “ANNIE STOP THIS. OUR FATHER WAS AN ASSHOLE, AND HE’S PROBABLY BEEN THROUGH WORSE HELL THAN I HAVE.”

That stopped Annie. Eren who had stood up from the counter was swaying. He felt dizzy he needed to sit down now. He leaned his back onto the counter and slowly fell to the floor. He was running his hand through his hair. He hated it when people brought up his dad. He was a horrible person who abused his fucking children. He started to fade into a flashback but tried to keep his mind in the present and the people around him. Mikasa knelt down to meet eyes with Eren and hugged him. She whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry Annie can be intense when she doesn’t know somebody. Don’t take it personally.” Eren nodded. 

Suddenly there was a ding from the door signaling someone coming into the convenience store. Eren stood up quickly in surprise by who walked in. “Uh Levi, What are you doing here?” Levi looked up apparently in the same amount of shock as Eren. So far the second interaction Eren ever had with Levi was going to be an awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know if there are any grammar or spelling errors. I'm horrible at catching them.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. I hope you enjoy. Please leave comments if you have any reccomondations on where you would like this story to go. My biggest fear is getting writers block and not know where to go. Hopefully someone would love to give some ideas. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy I almost sacrficied my highschool career writting this. haha

The one thing Levi did not expect when he went to buy a bag of chips was the little brat he now called his room mate. The boy was obviously in the same amount of shock as Levi was. The girl who was standing next to Eren whispered in his ear and handed him her phone. Levi watched the two’s interaction as Eren apparently inputted something into the woman's hair. She hugged him and left the store with a ding of the door. Turning his head and turned into the aisle of chips. He picked up a bag of chips that wasn’t covered in fake messy dust and when he returned to the register looking Eren in the eyes. Levi didn’t know much about Eren, but from the boy's blotchy eyes he would probably assume that he had been crying. “Hi, Levi,” Eren said very quietly. He took the chips and scanned them and handed them back to Levi. “Why are you here. It’s like fifteen minutes away from your home” As Levi was pulling out his money he said, “I wanted to go for a walk, and I ended up here.” 

“Oh…” Eren said awkwardly taking the money from Levi and handing him the change. Levi shook his head and said keep the change. He didn’t know who owned that money before him and what kind of germs could be all over the money, Eren nodded and put it into his tip jar. “Goodbye, I guess I’ll see you later,” Levi said uncomfortably and walked back through the door knowing that Hanji would probably panic trying to find him because he had left his phone at home. 

When he finally made it back, he found Hanji sitting on the porch. She jumped from her spot and ran to Levi. “Oh god please bring your phone with you. You scared me I can’t have you just disappear without notice. Levi don't do that again.” She said this with anger, worry, fear in her voice. Levi nodded and held out the chips as a peace offering. “Chips…” He said. Hanji’s mood changed almost instantly she smiled and took the chips, “Shall we watch a movie while we devoured these chips.” Levi nodded and followed Hanji who was running to his living room. 

“If you spill chips on my couch I will kill you.” Levi said sternly. Hanji laughed and continued to eat the bag of chips. She paused in her eating and pulled something out of her pocket. Leaving was watching the movie that was some romantic comedy that Hanji wanted to watch. He hadn’t realised that Hanji was holding something in front of him. He looked down to see to pills. “You got to take them.” She said holding a glass of water in her other hand. He took the pills threw them to the back of his throat and took the glass and swallowed a small amount of water. He gave the glass back to Hanji. “Why do I have to take those they never work in the end.”  Hanji placed the glass on top of a coaster and looked at Levi. “Levi you have too. I don’t care what you say. It would be a lot harder if you weren’t on them okay. You know what you were like.” Levi visibly stiffened at what she said. “I’m going to bed.” 

“Levi we need to talk about this sometime.”

“No we don’t it’s useless it won’t do anything good.” Raising his voice pausing the blankets off him he ran for the stairs to his room. Hanji turned off the television and put the bag of chips on the table. She reminded herself to put it away and wipe down the table when she went down. She followed Levi to his room and she knocked on the door. “I’m coming in don’t be naked.” She opened the door. Levi was sitting on his bed scratching at the bandages so hard that he was ripping them. “God Damnit Levi.” She rushed over to the smaller man and gently took his hands away from the bandaged arms. He attempted to struggle but it was no use. Hanji knew that one of the pills she had given him were a sedative he laid down on the bed curling into his duvet. “I’ll be right back.” She turned from the room walking downstairs to grab her first aid kit. She walked fast up the stairs to where Levi was scratching once again making his way through the bandages. His eyes were glassed over obviously stuck in a memory Hanji could only imagine the trauma the man could have gone through. Hanji placed the first aid kit next to Levi and moved to his dresser. She grabbed a pair of socks placing them next to the First Aid kit. Levi had stop scratching and was just laying there motionless awake but not all there. As she made her way through changing the bandages she heard the downstairs door open. Estimating it was Eren she left the room and looking down the stairs. Eren was just about to make his way up. She smiled and waved. Eren gave a small smile leaving his shoes next to Levi’s he was holding his uniform vest and slowly made his way up the stairs. “G’night” Eren said quietly to Hanji and opened his door. 

Hanji turned back to Levi who had fallen asleep and continued with his bandages. In the end, she took the socks and gently placed them over Levi’s pale, bony hands to prevent him from scratching subconsciously in his sleep. She walked downstairs and grabbed Levi’s favorite blanket from the couch and brought it upstairs and draped it gently over Levi. Hanji left the room leaving the door ajar. She slowly walked downstairs and started to clean up the living room. When she had finished, she turned off all the lights and layed down on the couch. She didn’t know what to do anymore she just wanted her best friend back. As she laid in the darkness, she let small tears escape her eyes. She had to be strong, strong for both of them. Slowly the tears stopped replaced with sleep. 

Levi woke up groggily sitting up in confusion. He had once again a dreamless night which confused him. He was wrapped in his blanket sunlight was coming through the half-open blinds. He rubbed his eyes only to realize that there were socks on his hands. Sitting up he gingerly removed the socks and slowly lowered his feet to the ground trudging towards the door still wrapped in his blanket. The door was cracked open, and he pushed it open. He walked downstairs heading for the kitchen and started boiling water for tea. As the water boiled, he walked to the living room where he saw Hanji peacefully sleeping. He was about to wake her up when a voice spoke up. “G’morning.” Levi jumped out of his skin looking at his new roommate. “Holy fuck brat make yourself known before you walk up behind someone.” 

“Oh sorry didn’t mean to scare you,” Eren said quietly turning around and heading for the kitchen. Levi steadied his breathing looking back at Hanji she hadn’t stirred. He poked her cheek until she woke up. She opened her eyes slowly looking at Levi. She sat up quickly and hugged Levi around the waist tightly. “Wha-ats wrong,” Levi said shocked at the women's reaction. eventually letting go, she mumbled. “Sorry just had a bad dream.” She looked up at Levi. Hanji looked like she hadn’t slept at all. “Uhh, it's fine…” Levi was cut off by the shrieking of his kettle boiling. He turned himself around and walked back to the kitchen.

Eren was sitting at the island munching slowly on an apple. Levi turned to his boiling kettle. After pouring his tea, he sat down awkwardly next to Eren. He had no idea how to talk to the kid, and after last night's awkward interaction he didn’t know how to act. But luckily he was spared that embarrassment because Hanji came bouncing into the room moving towards the small safe kept in the corner of the pristine kitchen. It only took her a second to have the safe open and having her shoving a small handful of pills into Levi’s hand. He looked at her with disdain but took them without a fight. Levi could tell the boy was watching him probably having a  few questions as to what had just conspired between him and Hanji but Levi shut off all conversation by taking long sips of his tea. Hanji slipped out of the room and back into the living room where he heard the tv turn on.

When he finished, he stood from his stool and it pushing back in and moving towards the sink to wash out his cup and place it in the dishwasher. When he turned around Eren was still slowly eating his apple. “God damn kid you’re acting as if that’s the last apple ever to exist,” Levi said making Eren jump and drop his apple. “Uhh… I'm sorry.” Eren said quietly. “For goodness sake brat what are you even apologizing about.” 

“Oh ah, nothing sorry,” Eren said picking his apple back up and taking a larger bite out of it. “Don’t apologize it’s annoying.” Eren nodded in response taking another larger bite of his apple.” Levi turned and left the room how could he possibly get more awkward between the two. He found Hanji sitting on the couch tucked under the blanket that she had been sleeping in. She was deeply immersed in what she was watching which was the same strange baking show she had been watching before. She looked at Levi giving him her trademark shit-eating grin. “Come sit Levi I want to talk to you,” She said patting the part of the couch next to her. Levi sat reluctantly and was instantly engulfed by Hanjis blanket. “What the fuck do you want Shitty Glasses,” Levi said angrily pushing the blanket off of him. He stared crossly and Hanji who just smiled. 

After a few moments, she leaned forward and handed him a small piece of paper. “What the fuck is this.” He said staring over at her with disbelief taking the piece of paper. On it written in some of the worst handwriting, he had ever seen was a date and time. Looking quizzically at his friend she gave him an uneasy smile. “ I made you another appointment with Dr. Smith. He called and wished to set one up, so we did. Please don’t be mad.” Hanji said nervously wringing her hands. Levi started to feel anger rise within him; he wanted to yell at his friend, how could she do something without talking to him first. Why does she keep trying to interfere with his life he didn’t want help he just wanted to die, is that so hard to ask for. Standing abruptly he stalked angrily out of the TV room passing an anxious-looking Eren. Stomping harshly up the stairs he flung himself into his bedroom slamming the door behind him. It was to fucking early to be dealing with any kind of shit.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have another chapter. I've been super stressed but I have written down a plan for the next six chapters so hopefully, that will help me get chapters done as fast as possible. No promises though. I hope you enjoy

Eren didn’t know what to think as Levi stomped past him waves of frustration and anger rolling off him. He stood stiff until he heard the slam of Levi’s door, taking a deep breath he wondered who Levi really was. Eren was confused beyond belief; he started to wonder if moving in with a complete stranger was a good idea. Erwin had said that it would be okay, but he felt uncomfortable around the man. He looked into the TV room and saw Hanji sitting on the couch the television playing a cooking show. Shifting from foot to foot he stepped slowly into the Tv area. 

   Hanji turned her head and looked at Eren with a smile. “Hi Eren,” She said calmly which was a first the usually excitable women seemed to have lost all her energy within a few minutes. 

“Um, can I ask you a question,” Eren asked timidly. 

“Of course,” Hanji patted the part of the couch next to her. Shuffling forward he sat on the plush couch and looked up towards the Tv screen. An amazing chocolate cake illuminated it, and he felt his stomach rumble. Quickly turning his head, he looked Hanji in the eyes. “Who is Levi?” He questioned. Hanji looked at him in confusion, “What do you mean,”

“Like who is he. I don't understand him. I'm scared of him if I'm honest,” Eren said timidly. 

“Ooh, well I don't know how to respond to that. Levi has had a rough life, and it's hard for him to meet new people. I'm honestly his only friend, and from what I know the reason why Erwin asked you to move in was the hope that Levi might finally open and not be reclusive that maybe hanging out with someone that isn't me might change him. But so far I don't know. He really is a nice guy it just seems like he doesn't know how to interact with people anymore. I know he seems scary and honestly, he is sometimes, but he means well you just have to give it a chance.” Hanji said leaning forward staring at Eren; her eyes gleamed he could truly tell that Hanji cared for Levi. It gave him reassurance that he could make this living situation better and if not at least he knew Hanji was a nice person who Eren believed would not lie to him. 

Nodding he replied, “Thanks, I’ll try and give it time. Just everytime I’m around him I don’t know how to act. I feel like he’ll get mad at any little thing you do.” 

“HA, you're not wrong there, but he’s dealt with me his whole life so he can definitely tolerate it to a point. I would not piss him off though cause if you just saw him a few minutes ago he was PISSED.” Hanji laughed.

“Oh,” Eren said quietly.

“Eren it wasn’t your fault he’s mad it is me. I told him something that he’s not too happy with so now he’s going to throw a tantrum upstairs and then he’ll get over it. I think.” She said that last part quietly almost as if to her self. 

“Well okay, I’m going to go upstairs I have some things I need to do.” Hanji nodded, and Eren stood and walked gently up the stairs listening to creaks in the wood as he stepped.

Once in his room, he flopped down on the bed and pulled out his phone and pulls up Mikasa’s contact info. She had given him her number the night before, staring at the messages screen he racked his brain on what to text his sister that wouldn't make him sound like a complete idiot. He didn’t need to embarrass himself any more than he has in his miserably short yet excruciating long life. Deciding on just a simple,  **Hey it’s Eren** he set his phone down and covered his face with his hand. He felt himself get embarrassed even though he knew that it was just a simple greeting it had him feeling uncomfortable. A loud ding rang through the room, and he scrambled to look at his screen. It was a text from Mikasa it said,  **OMG! Eren I’m so glad that you texted me** . Eren’s anxiety dissipated immediately at the response that he received. He quickly texted back.

**E > I am too. So whats up? I feel like we have a lot of catching up to do.**

**M > I know, I’ve missed you so much. So what’s happened in the last few years?**

   Eren didn’t know how to respond to that; there had been so much that had happened that he didn’t even know where to begin. His fingers flew over his screen as he typed a response.

**E > Well what do you want to know. A lot has occurred, and I don’t know when and where to start. **

   While he waited for Mikasa’s response, he sat up from his bed and swung his legs over the mattress and stood up gingerly. His body felt as if it was made of lead, feeling sluggish he made his way out of his room and slowly descended the stairs and shuffling towards the front door. Deciding he wanted to sit on the front porch stairs to get a bit of fresh air. 

   He plopped himself down on the top step and re-opened his phone to look at Mikasa’s most recent text to him.

**M > Here I have a plan would you like to meet up for coffee sometime this week and we can catch up instead of breaking our fingers trying to text our entire life story.**

   A ghost of a smile graced Eren’s lips as he once again quickly typed his response.

**E > Yes! That sounds like a good idea. Let me know what times work for you. :)**

**M > Okay I’ll have to talk to Annie, but I’ll let you know ASAP**

**E > Sounds good text you later.**

Locking his phone, he went to stand up when suddenly the front door blasted open, and a fuming Hanji marched out the door and stomped her way to her car. He observed her violently open her car door and slam it shut. Staring baffled at Hanji’s car as it sped away from Levi’s house he turned back and walked through the open door. 

   Standing back in his room Eren wondered what could have gotten Hanji so angry. She always seemed like a cheerful, happy go lucky person and to see her so upset was strange and almost scary. Even though he had only known her for a few days, she seemed like someone who it would take a lot to make angry. His mind drifted to Levi, was Hanji angry at him what could he have done to cause her to storm out of the house looking as if ready to murder anyone who got in her way. 

   He was suddenly interrupted by the loud rumbling of his stomach. Putting his hand against it, he tried to focus on something other than food. Laying on his bed, he curled into the ball as the feeling of hunger slowly bloomed in his stomach. Eventually, Eren drifted to sleep hoping that it would stave off his hunger. 

***

Eren was woken up by an intense pain in his stomach. Groaning he sat up, the pain in his stomach felt as if someone was stabbing a knife slowly through his stomach. He was becoming nauseous from the pain, and as he stood from his bed, he felt dizzy and sat down hard on the ground. Sitting on the ground for a moment he felt hunger overtake his body. He stood up still feeling dizzy he stumbled to his door and down the stairs. Making it to the kitchen, he realized that it was dark outside. Shocked he looked at the clock that was nailed above the sink, 11:30. Eren stared at the clock for a moment, last time he checked, it was maybe 1 in the afternoon. Had he actually slept that long he began to wonder but was again interrupted by a stabbing pain in his stomach? Forgetting everything he that had been on his mind he rushed to the fridge. Throwing the door to the fridge open, he pulled out any form of food he could find. Reaching inside he pulled out anything and everything that could be considered edible. Placing the food on the counter, he rounded towards the pantry pulling out chips and cookies. Opening all the food, he began to eat the food that surrounded him quickly. He was starving, and he couldn’t stop himself from eating the food as fast as humanly possible. Slowly a mountain of empty packages piled up around him covering the counters. Currently, Eren was devouring a tub of mint chocolate ice cream when he heard a grunt from the door frame that leads to the kitchen. 

   There stood Levi; he was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and dark green long sleeved shirt. Seeing Levi cause Eren to panic as he looked around at the damage that surrounded him. Looking up at towards the shorter male he looked straight into his eyes, and at that moment the best plan of action was to run. Swiftly standing up he bolted towards the front door, Eren was ashamed, embarrassed and all he could think about was getting as far away as possible from Levi. He hadn’t heard Levi say, “Wait  Brat. Stop!” All that Eren could think about was getting as far away from the house. He slowed when he felt he had run far enough. Looking around he noticed he was in a small park that had a swing set.

Coming to a full stop, Eren didn’t realize he was about to throw up until he did. His body ejected all the food that he had previously eaten, and Eren slowly sank to the ground. He was mentally berating himself for being so careless; he had gone so long without eating he finally felt as if he was making progress, but now he went a threw it all away with his binge. Moving towards the swing Eren sat down letting the seat move beneath him. He was trying to get his stomach to settle and for his breathing to become even again when the sound of feet slapping pavement was heard. Eren watched as Levi rounded the corner and stopped suddenly when spotted Eren. He stood abruptly and meant to run away when he stumbled and landed flat on his face. He struggled to stand his body feeling weak and helpless, and he was left to settle with sitting up and staring into Levi’s piercing grey eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr at, http://510lulu.tumblr.com/
> 
> Once again if there are any typos or mistakes please let me know. I want to make this fic as good as it can be so feedback is always welcomed.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new update. I've been excruciatingly busy and I have two weeks until I graduate so it's been stressful. My friend also accidentally broke my wrist so it's been challenging to update. But here we go a new update. If you have any comments on what you want or if there is something wrong let me know. I'm always willing to fix it to make this fic as good as possible. But let me stop ranting and please enjoy.

Hearing the slamming of doors, Levi realized he fucked up royally. Hanji never got angry, never and here she was gone, and  he had fucked up. Hanji had found him blades in hand as he sliced away at his thigh. She had screamed at him about being careless and how he needed to think about other people around him. That he was hurting the ones, who loved him although Levi thought that basically, the only person who came remotely caring about him was Hanji. She was his only friend after everything had happened with car crash she was the only one left.

Levi sat behind his bathroom door and listened to the start of Hanji’s car and her driving away. He sat there for a while eventually the urge to clean overwhelmed him. Cleaning fixed everything he could lose himself in his obsession. Believing that he could hide away from all his problems and to disappear from everything. He didn’t realize how long he had sat scrubbing that white bathroom tiles for until he felt his stomach make a loud sound of its need for food. Standing he surveyed his surroundings. The white tile shone in the light of the fluorescent lighting that came from above his sink.

Feeling momentarily sated he left his room tugged on a long sleeve and sweats and trudged downstairs. The first thing he noticed was how dark it was outside and as he rounded the corner tapping the light switch in the kitchen only for it to illuminate the scene that was splayed out in front of him. Eren stood over a pint of mint ice cream spoon in hand while surrounded by a pile of empty food containers of every variety. It took Eren only a second to notice him, and when he did, he looked as if he was a deer caught in the headlights. Standing abruptly he stumbled and ran for the front door. “Wait, Brat Stop!” Levi yelled, but that did not stop Eren. Standing dumbfounded for a second he chased after the green-eyed teen. 

The kid could run fast. Levi could see Eren in front of him until he took a sharp turn and when he reached that turn, Eren was nowhere to be seen. Swiveling his head, Levi continued running forwards. He was hoping he could catch him; Thoughts were running rampage through his brain. Why would the kid run from him like Levi was going to murder him? 

As he rounded the next corner, he came upon Eren who was sitting on an old rusty swing set that was placed at the edge of an unkempt park. Levi watched Eren attempt to stand from the swing only to stumble to his feet and abruptly fall dejectedly to hard ground. Eren stared up towards him tears were brimming in his eyes. 

Levi strode forward and knelt down in front of Eren and held out his hand to help him up.

“Are you okay brat?” Levi’s question was sincere, and Eren took hold of the hand allowing himself to be pulled up but avoided Levi’s questioning eyes. 

Silently both sat back down on the rusty swing sets. Levi lazily pumped his legs back and forth as Eren held his head in his hands. Levi could see small tears falling Eren’s fingers. 

“Brat fucking talk to me. I’m not in the mood to sit in the cold all night so the sooner the talk, the faster we can get inside and warm up.” Levi’s voice came out a little harsher than he had meant it to and bit his tongue anxiously hoping he hadn’t just made the kid angry.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Eren whispered his voice cracking halfway through his sentence. 

“Even if you don’t want to talk about you will talk. I don’t care how much you don’t want to. You don’t just run away from someone without answers, so I’m expecting some clear and concise answer to why you freaked the fuck out in the kitchen and decided to run a marathon just to get away from me. What did I fucking do?” Levi said this voice as monotone as ever. Eren looked down and said almost silently, “Nothing. You did nothing. This all me you don’t need to be here.”

“Well, I’m obviously not going back as it seems you are about to keel over and pass out. I know I don’t look or act it, but I do care a little about people, and as you are a person and someone who lives with me I care a little more so tell me why the fuck you thought it would be fun to run a marathon.” Levi crossed his arms and stopped the pumping of his legs.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Stop that.” Levi cut Eren off. “Don’t say sorry. You have done literally nothing for you to say sorry. Now can you please explain.” Levi’s piercing eyes looked into Eren’s soft sea green which were red and puffy. 

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Eren said timidly. 

“Well let’s start from the beginning. Where are you from,” Levi’s usually stern voice turned soft with genuine sincerity. Being truly sympathetic and willing listen to Eren. 

“Um well, I grew up in the countryside with my adoptive sister Mikasa. That was the girl in the convenient store. I also lived with my dad and mom, but my mother died when I was ten. And when I was twelve my dad made me believe that Mikasa had committed suicide from the grief of losing our mother she was 14. He lied to me he actually threw her out for being gay. My dad grew up very religious, so he has a deep hatred to towards gay people. After Mikasa disappeared from our lives, he began to abuse me. Hitting me and overall making my life a living hell for the next five years. I met Erwin, Dr. Smith when my dad stabbed me while drunk. Erwin helped me whenever my dad attacked me, and eventually, I moved in with him after my father kicked me out at 17 for coming out as gay. Since then I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and anorexia. I haven’t gotten any form of treatment for my anorexia because I don’t want it. I want to be skinny, I’ve always been criticised for my weight so now its an obsession. When you found me in the kitchen, it was the first time I had truly eaten anything in almost a week. It was the longest I’ve ever gone. But I ended throwing it all up.” Eren gesture towards the sidewalk where there was a puddle of sick. Levi crinkled his nose in disgust but let Eren continue. 

“I’m sorry for making a mess. I remember Hanji saying you didn’t like messes and I feel so guilty. I should have been stronger I could have gone longer without eating, and I failed.” Eren sounded so miserable, and Levi couldn't help but feel bad for the kid. He also didn’t know how to react to what Eren had said. Eren had hidden his face in his hands, and Levi noticed how truly tiny Eren was all Levi wanted to do was make Eren eat, but he understood what it was like not to stop what was a lifestyle. 

“I get where you’re coming from Brat. I know what it’s like to have no control over your life, and you rely on unhealthy habits to feel in control.” Levi said looking at his red hands which were still sensitive from his cleaning binge early that day. He couldn’t say anything comforting or inspirational because that would make him a hypocrite and Levi would feel guilty for saying something like that. 

“Okay well brat lets get back home, and we can deal with clean up, and we can talk more tomorrow.” Eren nodded and went to stand but swayed on his feet. 

“Woah brat, Steady,” Levi said standing gently taking hold of Eren’s shoulder to steady him on his feet. 

“I’m good,” Eren said moving away from Levi’s hands. 

Slowly they made their way back to Levi’s house and arriving both men walked into the kitchen to survey the damage. It wasn’t as bad as Levi thought it would be but he moved to put the food back in the fridge. He ended up throwing away the ice cream which was melted. Eren had sat himself down on a stool at the island and once again placed his head in his hands. Putting away the final item he pulled out his cleaning spray from underneath the sink. He slowly yet effectively wiped down his fridge door and handles, counters, and the top of the marble island Eren sat at. 

Finishing he put away his cleaning supplies and poked Eren’s arm to get his attention. Looking up Levi could Eren had been crying, and Levi pulled him up by his shoulders and marched Eren to his room telling him to sleep, and they would talk more in the morning. 

Closing the door to Eren’s room he made his way to his room. Entering the smell of bleach was a welcomed comfort. The smell made him feel clean letting himself relax onto the top of his bed, and for the first time in a long time, he fell asleep still in his clothing from that day.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if there is any grammar or parts that don't make sense so I can make it better.


End file.
